When I’m feeling down, I like to whistle. It makes the neighbor’s dog run to the end of his chain and gag himself.
The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
Did you ever notice:
The sole purpose of a child’s middle name is so he can tell when he’s really in trouble.
There’s always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for it. For example I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don’t hurt.
Did you ever notice: When you put the 2 words ‘The’ and ‘IRS’ together it spells ‘Theirs.’
Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.
When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.
Ah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.
Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft.